My only Hope

Today, September 28, 2008, it had been a year since the death of my cousin slash best friend Nonie.

I remember it was a Saturday morning when I got a text from my dad asking me if I know where my cousin is. I just replied blatantly, no, and asked him if she has any missing clothes, if so, maybe she just ran away.

Come Sunday Morning, our routines in the house were all normal, and my aunt and uncles were all texting us that they are still looking for my cousin, and they are within our Area in Makati. So, from our worship service in CCF, my family and I decided to meet them in my sister’s office in Makati. At that time, my other cousin slash best friend Jing just arrived from the tour.

This time, the elders were all serious and were asking Me, Jing and April – Nonie’s best friends since birth, if we know where she is, and are trying to make us spill, but unfortunately, I do not really know. I was the very indifferent member of our family. And other than my best friends – Nonie, Jing and April, I do not mind other people’s business. But even during that time, I was thinking that the elders are so overacting, since Rich (Nonie’s other nickname) had stowed away before.

But the thing is, last Friday, Nonie’s mother was supposed to celebrate her birthday with her friends, and she even promised her mom that she will be back home early for her mom.

Being the geek of the family, I volunteered to help them by posting a comment on Rich’s Friendster, asking them all if they ever saw Nonie to give my Ninang Mel (Nonie’s mom) a call or text. After several minutes, Nonie’s brother called their mom and told them that there is a messenger in their house looking for Nonie as well. And so, they left. And we went back to our normal life routines.

It was a Monday Morning, when still no news about my cousin, the song on the radio was Think of Laura, it was the jokester part of me which led me to singing the song, but replaced the name Laura to Nonie, just to make a laugh about the incident, still I never thought that my cousin could probably be dead already. But my sister and best friend April, told me that I am mean, so I stopped singing the song. As I was about to leave the house, the door made a loud bang closing in front of me, and again, being a Sagittarius, I am used to take things lightly optimistically, so I joked again to my sister, “April, it must be Nonie”… But then it was because I never thought it could possibly be true, but still it is mean to think of a person as dead, and I don’t know what entered my mind that morning to make very insensitive jokes such as that.

So my sister and I went to the office, and went on with our lives, and Nonie being lost was never on my mind… Until, my immediate supervisor, who happens to be Miss Malou -my mom, called me from the Graphic Artist’s Department, and asked me to come out.

Once, I got out of the room, the door of the Executive Office broke open, and there the COO of the Company who happens to be my sister April, is crying out so loudly… the first thing that entered my mind was, my sister is so strong and courageous, but whoever made her cry like that, must have done something so mean to her… so I ran to her and asked her, “sis what’s the matter?”. But she just went on crying out loud as if she could not utter a word… but still she tried, though some of her words were inaudible, It is as if I have heard her say “Trish, patay na si Nonie!” and then burst out crying… I did not believed her the first time I heard her and was shocked, so my initial reaction was not to cry, but to stare blankly, then went back to my senses, and then asked her and my mother, what exactly did they hear? I was wishing that they just heard the news wrongly and misunderstood. We decided to go to Manila, where our ancestral house is. When the rest of my family is calm already during our travel, I tried to ask them what they really heard, and how the news was exactly relayed to them. “Nasa morge si Nonie” … so being the optimistic me, I just told them maybe they found Nonie already and that Nonie is in the morgue just trying to indentify some bodies… We prayed during our commute, and prayed that Nonie is safe and that she is not dead… But strangely, during our prayer, instead of me being more faithful that Nonie is alive, I slowly was thinking she could possibly be dead.

When I got to our ancestral home, there were a lot of people, some childhood friends, some relatives from the province, and when we entered the house, my ninang was staring blankly but still calm. I asked her, “Ninang ano poh ba ang balita?” but still she can not be talked to, and was just staring blankly.

One of our childhood friend, Lalai talked to me, while I was sitting among the visitors in our house. She told me everything that had happened while they were looking for Nonie in the NBI Office. And there, I finally realized that Nonie might really be dead already. Weirdly, I still have not cried…

My “Anya” – Nonie’s older brother and my uncle were still at a morgue in Makati trying to pick Nonie’s remains.

Lalai asked me if I already know what happened, and me still confused and in denial, told her that I do not know. She told me that over the past few days, they have helped my Ninang to look for Richelle Ann Uy, or as we fondly call her Nonie or Rich, and when they were in the National Bureau of Investigations, it seems that the people there are busy, so they were not really entertained that much, because the NBI Agents seems to be going to an operation somewhere in Makati. As they showed the photo of Nonie asking if they have seen her, they were so-so. Until, they told them that my cousin was working for her boss who is an NBI Agent, Edgar Veloso. When the agents heard the name of the NBI Agent, they suddenly were interested, and asked them if they could wait.

There, they explained to her that the NBI Agent Ed Veloso was found dead inside a Condominium in Makati with a girl also dead. They were still unable to identify the body, so they asked them if they could identify the body. My Anya (Chinese for older brother) was there with them as well as my uncle.

In the Morgue, my anya went inside the morgue, he saw the legs, but before he could see the body, my uncle stopped him, and told him that he would be the one to look at the body, since my anya is still young and he might not be able to recover from what he might be seeing.

Back in Tondo, Manila, we were still waiting…

When my uncle and anya got to the house, my anya was discombobulated. I asked them what they saw, that it cant be Nonie’s cadaver that they saw. But my anya and uncle’s achromatic reaction, only weakened me… and slowly I begin to lose hope that might cousin might be dead already.

After several hours, the remains of my cousin was already brought in Dulce Abad Santos – a funeral home near our ancestral house. There my cousins and I all wanted to see for ourselves, if it was really my cousin who is lying dead inside the morgue. Though our uncle already confirmed with us that it is her, we still wanted to see it for ourselves… Our stubborn impulse brought us to the funeral home, but upon reaching there, the mortician do not want to let us in the morgue. But due to our confounded state, we still insisted, and so the mortician asked us to talk to the embalmer. But the embalmer told us that if it were him, he would not let us see the body, since even him, who is used to seeing dead bodies everyday could not take the sight of my cousin. He said it was unbearable for him, and we – who are not used to seeing cadavers everyday, might not be able to remove the panorama of her dead body. My mother tried to talk us out of it as well, and she was able to convince me and my cousins Jing and Denise. But Paul, Rich’s youngest brother wanted to see her, since it was a long time since he had seen his sister. And the last time that they had talked, they were supposed to meet because she is doing something for Paul.

After several minutes of Paul being inside the morgue, he went out and confirmed that it was really Nonie. He saw her birthmark on her legs.

From there, I found out, that what the actors and actresses do in the movies upon finding out a death of a loved one was no exaggeration. I felt my knees weaken that I could not stand, and It is true that when you lose a loved one through an unexpected death, you do not care whatever other people think. I cried out loud, hollering. An unexplainable pang in my heart was irremovable.

From that moment, flashbacks of my happy days with my cousin since we were kids were all depicted involuntarily on my mind. And just the thought that it will never ever happen again inflicts a sharp spasm of pain in my heart.

Set Yourself Apart for Christ

Editor’s Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Leslie Ludy’s new book, Set-Apart Femininity: God’s Sacred Intent for Every Young Woman (Harvest House Publishers, 2008).

As a woman, you naturally want to be seen as beautiful. But no matter how much time, energy, and money you spend trying to catch an attractive guy’s attention or live up to our society’s current standard of beauty, the best you can achieve is the worldly kind of beauty that can’t fulfill you.

True beauty can only be found through your relationship with Jesus Christ. When you set yourself apart from the world’s idea of a beautiful lifestyle and devote yourself wholeheartedly to Christ, His love will transform you into a stunningly beautiful woman.

Here’s how you can set yourself apart for Christ:

Consider your motives. Take a hard look at the decisions you’re making and ask yourself honestly what motives lie behind them. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to grow in all the ways Jesus wants to transform you, even when that means sacrificing your own agenda? Or are you trying to tack on some Christian morality to a self-indulgent life?

Consider who Jesus is to you. Yes, He’s your Savior. But do you view Him as a casual buddy with whom you check in once in a while? Or do you see Him as your true love — Someone you pursue with absolute passion?

Don’t settle for less than the best. There’s much more to being a Christian than saying the salvation prayer and then fitting Jesus into your life. Jesus wants to be more than just a part of your life; He wants to be your whole life. Instead of trying to fit Jesus into your lifestyle, build your life completely around your relationship with Him. Don’t be content to be a mediocre Christian, slipping Jesus into your life whenever it’s convenient. Decide every day to abandon yourself completely to Jesus, inviting Him to transform every part of your life.

Look for excitement in the right place. Even though the culture surrounding you may give you the message that surrendering your life to Jesus will only lead to a boring life, you’ll discover if you choose to do so anyway that Jesus will lead you on exciting adventures you couldn’t experience any other way.

Rely on supernatural power to help you. Don’t be intimidated by wondering how you’ll ever have the strength to live truly holy life. You can’t do it in your own strength. But the good news is that God will help you every step of the way when you rely on Him. Ask God to teach you how to yield to His power working within you rather than your own efforts. Remember that, apart from God, you can do nothing, but with Him, anything is possible.

Get a spiritual makeover. While our culture will often tell you to look for beauty within, the reality is that all that lies within you apart from God is the ugliness of sin. Acknowledge that reality, confess and repent of your sins, and invite God to make you new from the inside out by removing the residue of sin and selfishness from your life and clothing you in holiness. Start today, and keep the process going, since there’s always more for God to refine in your life.

Ask how much you can give to Christ, instead of how much you can get away with. Be ruthless in eliminating moral compromises from your life. Don’t use your freedom in Christ to do just the minimum you should do to be considered faithful. Instead, constantly remind yourself of how Jesus gave His all – His life – to save you, and decide to give your all to keep growing closer to Him.

Sacrifice whatever is keeping you too preoccupied to make Jesus your top priority. Break away from parts of your lifestyle that are preventing you from seeking Jesus with your whole heart. Take a hard look at how much time you spend in prayer and Bible study versus other, far less important activities like watching TV or surfing the Internet. Consider what kinds of sounds, images, and messages you’re allowing into your mind on a regular basis. Do they honor God, or do they glorify sin? Where do you turn for enjoyment and comfort – to Jesus, or to someone or something else? Consider such topics as the movies and TV shows you watch, the music you listen to, the way you use the Internet, the magazines and books you read, the way you speak, the way you dress, the activities you pursue, and the friendships you engage in. Remember that if any activity, habit, or relationship in your life tends to pull you away from Jesus, that’s a sign that it doesn’t belong in your life.

Expect persecution, but value Christ more. When you live a set-apart life, you’ll likely encounter negative responses from others who are uncomfortable with the extent of your faith. Don’t be discouraged or derailed by persecution. Live your life to please God, not other people.

Attract the right kind of guys. Don’t worry about being overlooked by guys because you’ve set yourself apart for Christ. The guys who will overlook you for that reason are the kinds of guys you wouldn’t want to date anyway – self-indulgent, sex-obsessed guys who won’t recognize the beauty of holiness or know how to treat you with the honor God wants you to receive. If you haven’t met the right guy yet, don’t put off living your life to the fullest. Instead of looking to romance with men to fulfill you, draw your fulfillment from the greatest love story you could ever participate in – your relationship with Jesus. Make Jesus – not finding the right guy – the focus of your life. Even if the right guy never comes along for you to marry, Jesus will still be enough. When you pour all your time and energy into your relationship with Jesus, you’ll catch the attention of Christlike men, and one of them may even turn out to be the right one for you.

Relate to guys wisely. Be sure to set and maintain clear physical and emotional boundaries in your relationships with guys. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you so you’re not led by selfish motives. Guard your heart and keep the honor of your future spouse in mind. Don’t pursue guys; let guys initiate relationships with you. Remember that, if you want your future husband to be strong and confident, you need to allow Him to follow God’s pattern of being the initiator in your relationship. Forget about flirting, because flirting draws attention toward you instead of toward Christ – and in a healthy relationship, the people involved should be pointing each other toward Christ.

Resist evil’s influence in your life. Don’t allow evil forces to hinder God’s purposes for your life. While sometimes God allows you to suffer so good purposes can be fulfilled, often your problems are attacks from the evil side of the spiritual realm that wants to discourage and defeat you. Pray about whatever is troubling you – fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, confusion, insecurity, family problems, health problems, financial problems, a sense of hopelessness, or anything else – and stand firmly in the power Jesus has given you to overcome evil. Fortify the spiritual walls around your life. Identify breaches like sinful attitudes and behaviors, rebellious habits, and involvement with the occult that give evil forces entry points into your life. Then confess them and repent of them. Make a list of all the areas of your life that don’t reflect the glory of Jesus, and pray about each one. When you pray: be persistent, remember that God wants to do good things for you, be bold, be specific, ask for big things and have faith that God will answer, and stand upon the promise that all things are possible with God. Incorporate prayer into every part of your life and make a habit of praying constantly as you go through each day.

Make Christ your first love even after you’re married. If you and your spouse are overly concerned with trying to meet your own needs and desires, your marriage will be smothered in the process. But if you both focus on serving each other because you love Jesus and want to His follow His call to selflessness, your marriage will thrive.

Serve others. Make service to others a regular part of your lifestyle. The world is full of hurting people, and Jesus is calling you to help them. Jesus set you free not just for your own benefit, but also so you can help others. Take your job to minister to those in need seriously. Ask God to help you see it as a privilege rather than a burden. Remember that your call to serve goes beyond just the people in your own family or circle of friends. Keep focusing outward. Don’t use your family responsibilities or any other circumstance as an excuse to ignore the greater call on your life, which is to pour yourself out radically for the lost, dying, needy, and oppressed. Pray for God to show you which specific people He wants you to help at what times, so you don’t become overwhelmed and focus where He wants you to focus.

The Secrets of Real Joy Part IX:

CONTENTMENT

All of us desire to be happy. In fact, we have a loving God who wants us to be joyful. Yet, a lot of times we wallow in thoughts that suggest we can only be happy if we had a higher paying job, a more successful business, a bigger house, a better spouse, or for singles, a partner in life. However, real joy that springs from contentment does not depend on external circumstances. Paul says, “Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (Philippians 4:11). Bill Gothard puts it this way, “Contentment is realizing that God has already given me everything I need for my present happiness.” The following questions will help us unlock the secret of joy in contentment.
What is contentment? Contentment is neither a license to be complacent nor an excuse for failure, but rather, it is having a perspective that we can be happy regardless of where we are in our lives. If we are not content with what we have right now, we can be sure that no amount of blessing will make us happy. And even if it does not come to us naturally, contentment is something we can learn. Paul, who has undergone tremendous hardships states, “I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.” (Philippians 4:12). The biblical definition of contentment is having the attitude of gratefulness and peace born out of trust and surrender to the will of God in every circumstance. Let us learn how to be thankful for what we have rather than focus on what we don’t have. We need to surrender our circumstances  for God has our best interest at heart and if we learn how to put our confidence in Him, we gain the spirit of contentment that transcends our present circumstances.
Why is contentment important? We cannot wait for our wishes to come true in order to become content. Contentment begins today, for it is found in Christ. Hence, contentment must be Christ-centered. It is focused on what God has given us and not on what we don’t have. Our joy is focused on the Lord and not on circumstances. Thus, in any situation, we experience joy and peace in the Lord. (2 Corinthians 11:23-25).
Our problem has always been our sinful nature. It tempts us to look at our fellowmen and compare what they have with what we don’t have. And when we begin to compare, we start demanding what we think we should have and are entitled to. Then, contentment disappears. We need to learn how to count our blessings. Doing so will help us appreciate everything God has given us and prevent us from grumbling. When we are content, we trust the sovereignty of God in all aspects of our lives, believing that there are no accidents in life and that our loving Father has our best interest in mind. (Matthew 20:12-13).
We are also reminded in I Timothy 6:7-8, “For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. And if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.” When we become obsessed with wanting to have what other people possess, we lose sight of the reality that we will eventually leave everything behind. Being content will change our whole perspective in life. It will give us eternal perspective and will help us determine what is really important in life. (Luke 12:19-21; 1 Timothy 6:9-10).
Learning how to be content protects us from this pitfall of envy. Although there is nothing wrong with money and prosperity, there is always the danger of loving earthly possessions more than anything else and losing sight of what truly matters: loving Jesus with all our heart.
How do we experience contentment? Contentment begins with Christ. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Clearly, apart from Jesus Christ, we will never experience contentment. When we begin to have an intimate relationship with Christ, our perspective in life and the way we think change. It is only through Him that our eyes can be opened to the reality of eternity. The Lord Himself promised, “I will never desert you, nor will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5). We become truly content as our hearts and minds are transformed by Christ. Epictetus states, “I am always content with what happens, for what God chooses is better than what I choose.” When we believe that God knows what is best for us and that there is more to life than possessions, we are able to keep our eyes on our past, present and future blessings. The secret of experiencing contentment is Jesus Christ.
Therefore, if we want to find true joy and contentment, let us turn to the source: Jesus Christ. Let us count our blessings and rejoice in what God has done, is presently doing and will surely continue to do in our lives. We must have a complete trust in God and have the conviction that He knows what He is doing which is always for the best.

The Secrets of Real Joy Part VIII

ARRESTING THE ROBBERS OF OUR JOY IN THE LORD

People turn to so many things in the hope of finding happiness. But joy is oftentimes elusive because they are seeking in the wrong places. Blaise Pascal said, “In every man’s heart is a God-shaped vacuum that only God can fill.” Joy is found, not in pleasure, money or possessions, position or prestige, power and fame, but in the Lord Jesus Christ alone. Thus Paul said, “Rejoice in the Lord always…!” (Philippians 4:4).

Christians should be the happiest people on earth, yet not all Christians are happy 100% of the time. That’s because we have allowed many things to rob us of our joy in the Lord. Here are a few joy robbers and how to arrest them:

Conflicts in relationships. Since conflicts are inevitable, we need to learn how to neutralize this threat to our relationships. We should arrest them, and the way to do that is to be gentle. To be gentle means to be caring, kind and patient, to choose not to be harsh, angry, grumpy or irritable. Between being gentle and being easily angered, we are more inclined towards the latter. Hence, we need to practice the presence of God to develop gentleness. “Let your forbearing spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near” (Philippians 4:5). There may be provocation, but when we know that the Lord is near, we will learn to behave and henceforth avoid conflict.

Concerns over circumstances. When we focus too much on the problems of life, we become anxious. According to Vance Havner, “Worry, like sitting on a rocking chair, will give you something to do, but won’t get you anywhere.” Ulcer is what we get for making mountains out of mole hills. Of our worries, based on a survey, 40% are about things that will never happen; 30% are about things about the past that can’t be changed; 12% are about other people’s criticisms, mostly untrue; 10% is about health, which gets worse with stress; and only 8% are about real problems that need to be faced.

Paul’s advice to arrest this joy robber is to be prayerful. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). Not only do we need to pray, we need to do so with thanksgiving, trusting God for His solutions. And His promised Word is: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

Negative thinking. We usually catch ourselves dwelling on negative thoughts when we grumble or complain. Always looking at the bad side distorts everything altogether. If we think negatively about the Philippines and we mostly complain about our government, how can we develop love for our country? The only way to arrest this problem is to be positive. “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things” (Philippians 4:8). Having a positive mind and attitude can give one tremendous joy.

Disobedience. When we violate God’s holiness through disobedience, a certain restlessness develops within us, for we know there are consequences to sin. Hence, we must be obedient. “The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you” (Philippians 4:9). Jesus Christ modeled for us a life of obedience. He was obedient to His earthly parents (Luke 2:51). He was likewise obedient to His Heavenly Father and fulfilled His mission on earth (John 17:4).

God commanded husbands to love their wives, and wives to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-25). God knows that man’s greatest need is respect, and the woman’s, love. Disobedience to these commands starts the “crazy cycle” – husband acts without love towards the wife, wife reacts by treating husband without respect, the husband then reacts to the wife’s disrespect by giving her an unloving treatment. And the whole cycle continues. But if the wife feels loved by the husband, she will readily submit to her husband. Hence, obedience is the way to break the pattern.

True happiness can be found in Jesus alone. What we need to ask ourselves is: Are we in the Lord? If we are not sure, we can turn to Jesus, admit that we are sinners, ask for forgiveness, repent, and receive Jesus into our lives as our personal Savior and Lord.

The Secrets of Real Joy Part VII:

MODELING JOY

It is a given that when things are sweet and rosy, there is joy. But what if God allows problems in our lives? How can we continue to be salt and light to the world around us? Paul gives some pointers:

1. Follow those who model PURE JOY. “Brethren, join in following my example, and

observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us (Philippians 3:17). A lot can be learned from Paul whose joy shone brightly even in his darkest hours. He may have been imprisoned many times, but he was free enough to be joyful always. Knowing Christ gave him all the reasons to rejoice. Job is another biblical icon in the area of pure joy untouched by people and circumstances. With everything practically wiped out in a single day (home, children, livestock and servants), he still had a right attitude toward God, with joy and faith still intact. We can follow in their footsteps as examples of joy-filled lives worth emulating.

2. Beware of those who model FALSE JOY. For many walk, of whom I often told you, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of the cross of Christ, whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things (Philippians 3:18-19). False teachers have no real joy because their gospel is counterfeit. Everything about them is false: false joy anchored on false hope. Thus, they can be spotted through the fruits they produce: false sense of happiness, false sense of security and false sense of righteousness. Therefore, we must:

· Be aware of their wrong theology. There are many deceitful doctrines that come in various forms: Health and wealth gospel; new age; mysticism; teachings regarding the Holy Spirit’s outpouring which paints a questionable image of God; salvation by good works; and salvation by some other mediator or through church membership. But genuine believers know that the true gospel is about salvation found in Jesus Christ alone through faith in Him. The resurrection of our Savior is the basis of our hope from which springs genuine joy.

· Beware of those within who model false thinking. Even in the Christian circle, there are some rotten eggs that may spoil the whole basket. They are those who set low standards of Christianity; those who cause others to stumble, and those who say “Do as I say, not as I do.” ‘As it is written: “God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you” (Romans 2:24).

3. Be models of REAL JOY. We, as Christ’s bride, can joyfully anticipate seeing and being with our Groom in our real home. Such is our joy when Jesus comes to gather His people. For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself (Philippians 3:20-21). As citizens of heaven, we should:

a) Model our citizenship by our CONDUCT:

• Live in unity (Philippians 2:1-2);
• Live in humility (Philippians 2:5);
• Live without grumbling (Philippians 2:14).

b) Model our citizenship by our ATTITUDE

• Do not be terrified by adversaries (Philippians 1:28);
• Do not be anxious (Philippians 4:6-7).

c) Model our citizenship by our PERSPECTIVE. Joy is the by-product of a Christ-centered mindset. By seeing circumstances from God’s perspective, it is possible to rejoice in the midst of trouble for we are assured of God’s abiding love: “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5); God’s absolute sovereignty: “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28); God’s grand plan: “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus our Lord” (Philippians 1:6).

Since we are only transients on earth, we can endure pain and suffering knowing that they will enrich us spiritually and prepare us for our homecoming. All that we are and all that we have here are nothing compared to the incomparable riches that await us in heaven. As Joel Rosenberg wrote in his book, “Epicenter”, when others “look around and when they see believers in Jesus enjoying internal peace during a time of such violence and fear, they want Jesus too”.

“Charity begins at home,” so the saying goes. Modeling should, therefore, begin at home. Are we doing just that? Is our joy contagious to our family members that they see Christ’s countenance in our faces and feel His love through our caring acts? For us to be effective, we must follow those who model pure joy, beware of those who model false joy and be models of real joy.

THE SECRETS OF REAL JOY PART VI:
Running the Race to Christ-likeness

Living in complacency, living in the past, living without a purpose–that sounds like a joyless existence.  How can we put excitement into our lives and at the same time make it meaningful and significant?  Are we just going to watch the world go by on the sidelines, or are we going to be where the action is as active participants?

By virtue of our qualification as God’s people, we have entered into a race where participation is not an option but a mission.  How can we run with a winning attitude as we tackle the different hurdles and still fulfill what God has purposed for our lives?

The apostle Paul has this to impart: “Not that I have already obtained it, or have already become perfect, but I press on in order that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.  Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained” (Philippians 3:12-16). For practical application, these should help:

1. Don’t live in complacency–Get ready! Growth is essential in the Christian life.  If we think being saved is all there is to Christianity, we will never graduate to higher levels of faith and be what God wants us to become. Growth begins with the realization that we need to change. And when we start measuring our progress, our standard should be Christ. Comparing ourselves with our neighbor is not the yardstick that will tell us how far we need to go to be straightened out.

Our decision to grow in spiritual maturity gets us ready to start the race. Being a “lukewarm” Christian is a sign of complacency. A holy dissatisfaction over where we are now, as seen in the apostle Paul, is what we should all develop.  Are we progressing in the right direction?

2. Don’t live in the past–Get set! The past is one baggage we cannot lug along as we run the race. It robs us of both the present and the future. Forgetting what lies behind is what we need to do. Forgetting does not mean completely being rid of the memory. What it really means is to no longer be influenced or affected by the past. In other words, forgetting is to break the power of the past by living for the future.

For us to be conquerors of our past there are three things we need to master:

a) Recognize the past for what it is–past, over, ended, finished,  gone,  and done.

b) Recognize that it’s the devil’s strategy to discourage or defeat us and ultimately rob us of joy.

c) Recognize that although we cannot alter the past, we have the power to change the way we respond to it.

One thing that locks us to the past is unforgiveness.  Forgiving the hurts and offenses inflicted on us by people will set us free from the past. If Paul never forgave himself for his past as a persecutor of Christians, he probably wouldn’t have known what it’s like to have joy in the company of trials. His epistle in the Roman prison exhorting us to rejoice would not have been written.  And he would never have strained forward to become the missionary who sparked a spiritual revival in the early church. We can make the same choice Paul made. Our choice to forget the past and reach forward to know Christ more intimately and make Him known gets us set in the right direction.

3. Don’t live without purpose–Get going! Are we drifters with no goals, ambitions or dreams? “Without God, life has no purpose, and without purpose, life has no meaning; without meaning, life has no significance.  The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose.”

Knowing our purpose motivates us. Purpose produces passion. ”We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). The signature of God in our lives is what makes us priceless and unique. Our commitment and dedication to fulfill our purpose to pursue Christ-likeness gets us going to achieve our goal and win the prize.  Our motivation is the upward call, which is to live in light of being called out of this world into the presence of God.
The ending of our life is more important than the beginning.  If we want to finish strong, we must play by the rules in order to finish the race and win the promised prize.

When we’re asked, “How are you?”, and we say “Fine!”, does our expression match our words? When we speak of heaven, do we light up with the glory of the Lord? If ours is a blank look, we can’t be quite convincing, can we? Paul reminds us with a stern warning: “Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things again is no trouble to me, and it is a safeguard for you. Beware of the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of the false circumcision, for we are the true circumcision, who worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh, although I myself might have confidence even in the flesh” (Phil. 3:1-4).

So which is the right path and how do we get there?   Someone said, “LOOK AROUND AND BE DISTRESSED; LOOK WITHIN AND BE DEPRESSED; LOOK TO JESUS AND BE AT REST.”  The path to REAL JOY REQUIRES that we…

1. Turn from RITUAL that has NO RESPONSE. Legalists put a yoke on us by making us go through rituals, making us believe that Christ is not enough and that we have to add something else to be saved. Rituals, however, can turn into a public spectacle just for show.  God’s Word, through Paul, says we have to cut ourselves off from the false gospel that tells us we need to observe meaningless rituals that actually don’t get us anywhere. Only the personal knowledge of Christ will result in true Christianity and cause a real transformation that happens in the heart, where good works follow through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

2. Avoid RELIGION that has NO REALITY. Paul could be in the honor roll, with impressive credentials when it comes to religion. “If anyone else has a mind to put confidence in the flesh, I far more: circumcised the eighth day, of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to the righteousness which is in the Law, found blameless.  But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ “ (Philippians 3:4-8).

Christianity is not addition, but subtraction, as Paul discovered.  Religion puts confidence in the flesh, where good works and accomplishments get A+ rating. Religion breeds a “holier-than-thou” attitude. It banners the slogan: “Our way is the best way.” It is nothing but pride.

Religion is a set of do’s and don’ts that puts us in bondage, because we’ll never know when good is good enough.  So we keep striving. Religion then becomes possible without God in the picture. It even becomes possible without having a relationship with Him. But God’s Word says that no one is justified by fulfilling the law. What the law does is point to us how we have missed the mark. It all boils down to who we know. Religion keeps us in bondage, while Christ sets us free. To experience true freedom is to have real joy.  What do we choose to embrace?  Christ or religion?

3. Respond to GOD’S GRACE by FAITH. From false circumcision that promotes false religion which in turn promotes self-righteousness, we need to go the opposite direction toward Christ.  “…and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:9-11).

D. L. Moody said: “The law shows me how crooked I am. Grace shows me how to straighten out.” Our sins before the Holy God make us unacceptable to Him. But God’s grace has been extended to us through Christ. By accepting Christ, we become acceptable and right with God. On account of Christ’s death on the Cross, not only do we have a zero balance where the debt of our sins has been debited from our account, we also end up with a positive balance for the righteousness of Christ which has been credited to our account.

Self-righteousness vs. Christ’s righteousness - ours will always fall short for Christ’s is more than enough.  THE WAY TO JOY IS TO ABANDON THE WAY OF HUMAN ACHIEVEMENTS AND ACCEPT THE WAY OF GRACE. The Lamb over me equals righteousness - that should be inscribed in our hearts. We must reject all attempts to save ourselves by ritual or religion and enter into a personal relationship with Christ.

Do we personally, intimately, experientially know Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord? Do we have His righteousness by faith? Do we choose to take the path to real joy by responding to God’s grace?  If yes, then we all have the reasons to REJOICE!

The Secrets of Real Joy Part IV

When was the last time we stopped being so caught up with ourselves and started being involved in the lives of others with real needs? If joy is still unreal to us, it may be that our order of priority is not Jesus first, Others second, and You last. Otherwise, we will discover that JOY is a by-product of serving others. We all need to learn how to be a joyful servant:

1. Respond to God’s grace. Grace is something we have not earned nor deserved, yet given lavishly without any cost to us.  We are saved not by what we do, but by what Jesus Christ has done (See Ephesians 2:8-9; Titus 3:5). Who can refuse the grace of God? Sadly, many still reject it. The right response to God’s grace is admission of one’s sinfulness and acceptance of God’s gift of salvation, forgiveness and eternal life through Christ.
We are, by nature, proud. Only by God’s grace can we cooperate with Him who is working to transform us, so that through us, Christ may touch the lives of others (See 1 Corinthians 15:10). Proof that we have received God’s grace is through service in action. And in serving others, we are giving our worship to God (Philippians 2:12-13).

2. Refuse to grumble. Grumbling is part of human nature. Hence, when we do not grumble, we are being different from the rest of humanity. We do not become children of God by not grumbling; we do not grumble because we are children of God. That should make a difference for Christ (Philippians 2:14-15).
When we grumble, we are actually lodging a complaint against God. When we say, “Why is this happening to me?” What we are really saying is, “Lord, I don’t want what You’re doing…I don’t want what You’re giving.  I don’t believe you love me.” (See 1 Corinthians 10:8-11). History is recorded for our education that we may learn from the past. The Israelites, after their deliverance, complained when they experienced discomforts in the desert. The disaster that struck them was a sign that God was not pleased. As God sees it, grumbling is the sin of unbelief.
A change of perspective will change our attitude.  We should look beyond the dark clouds to have a glimpse of the silver lining. We have heard someone say, “I complained I had no shoes until I saw someone with no feet.” Thankfulness for what we have will develop contentment. When we believe that whatever is happening will lead to something good, and that God is molding our character, grumbling will not even be part of our vocabulary.

3. Rely on God’s Word. It’s so easy to be lost in the swirl of uncertainties, confusion and suffering. In the midst of crisis, we have something to cling to - God’s promises. When we hold on to God’s Word in faith, God’s Word holds up our faith.
When we’re about to give way to the pressures of earthly life, or when we’re about to lose our joy because of people, distressing circumstances or fear of the future, we must fix our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). When our mind is trained in the meditation of the Word of God, we are reminded that we are just transients in this imperfect world, and that will help us transcend beyond this life to a promising eternal future.
Servants do not use God for their purposes; rather, they let God use them for His purposes. Examples of biblical characters who were humble and therefore tasted the joy of serving others amidst danger are Paul, Timothy and Epaphroditus. Paul had several brushes with death in his labors for the Lord Jesus. He was tortured and imprisoned, a price he had to pay for testifying about Christ, yet even in prison, he continued to minister to others. The joy of serving others never left him. Timothy, who was discipled by Paul, learned from Paul. So when Paul was arrested and incarcerated, Timothy traveled all the way to Philippi to visit and encourage Paul, putting his security on the line, as he also ran the risk of imprisonment for being associated with Christ. Epaphroditus was flooded with sympathy when he fell ill and almost died, but because he was more interested in the welfare of others, he was even distressed upon learning that people were worried about him. Where others fell short in service, he made up for their lack.

There is joy in salvation and the Holy Spirit helps us bear more of its fruit, however, there are also joy robbers. We have learned previously about a number of them - people, circumstances, worry and fear. Added to this list are conflict and self-centeredness.

Conflict and self-centeredness are inter-related. Self-centeredness triggers conflicts, and the root of it all is PRIDE.  For these thieves of joy to be eliminated, the solution is HUMILITY. It can be said, therefore, that JOY IS A BY-PRODUCT OF HUMILITY.

Philippians 2:1-11 says: “If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those who are in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” How can this passage be applied in relation to the thieves of joy of conflict and self-centeredness?

CONFLICT. We are imperfect individuals, differing from one another in views, personalities and character. It is therefore but normal to have conflicts in human relationships. Conflict arises even among mature Christians. We may not expect uniformity, but we can preserve unity in the body. Although we may disagree about certain things, we can agree to remain in harmony with one another through the fellowship that binds us together by virtue of our identity in Christ.

The devil is the culprit of divisions and discord. When we have something against someone, what do we tend to do? We talk to other people about it. But issues need to be ironed out between the two conflicting parties. Talking about them with people who are not part of the problem or solution is plain and simple gossip. Satan uses the strategy of malicious gossip to destroy relationships and widen rifts. How many friendships have been destroyed by gossip? If we’re not careful, we may encourage it through passive listening, or we may actively participate by adding fuel to the fire. Without realizing it, we are being accomplices to the devil’s demolition job. When we refuse to join in the gossip fray, and instead urge the person who has issues to talk to the party concerned, it terminates the devil’s work.

Most people employ the strategy of fight or flight when involved in conflict. But fighting aggravates the situation while fleeing leaves the issues unresolved. There is a biblical way and that is, to move toward the party we are in conflict with. It means taking the initiative to iron out the differences with humility, with an admission of one’s part in the conflict.

SELF-CENTEREDNESS. Proud people are self-centered.  Self-centered people are usually miserable. Because they have this feeling of self-importance, they think they are important enough to be talked about all the time, and are therefore wary about what other people are saying behind their backs. They drop lines like: “I deserve to be happy.”  “This is my right.”  It’s all about I, me, mine. They think the world owes them and that it exists to serve them. Hence, when the world fails them, they are angry that they do not get to have a piece of joy.

From the time of birth, our selfish nature surfaces even without being taught. We seek attention, lay claim to everything we see as ours, throw tantrums when we don’t get the toy we want from the store, fight with playmates when a piece of candy is taken from us. When we’re older, we scramble to get the last vacant seat in the MRT train without giving way to the elderly. Bus drivers along EDSA load and unload in the middle of the road with no consideration for other motorists.

Jesus, though He is God, rich in majesty as King and Owner of everything, emptied Himself, became poor and took the form of man, in order to serve mankind in all humility. He sacrificed His life on the Cross for death to be conquered, and its sting removed. All these he did in obedience to the will of the Father. Clothing ourselves with humility is to have the same attitude and mindset as Christ’s. It means dying to self.  It is yielding our rights in favor of another. It is thinking less of self and more of others.

Christianity is not an abstract. It is living the example of Christ. When we have Christ in our hearts, joy is ours. We lose it only when we allow joy robbers in through conflict and self-centeredness. Through humility, they are barred from trespassing.

The Secrets of Real Joy Part II
Ptr. Peter Tanchi / Sunday, July 06, 2008

If we wear long faces in these troubled times, how can we be salt and light to the world? A.W. Tozer reminds us: “The Christian owes it to the world to be supernaturally joyful.”  Bruce Larson adds: “The bottom line for you and me is simply this: grimness is not a Christian virtue. There are no sad saints. If God really is the center of one’s life and being, joy is inevitable. If we have no joy, we have missed the heart of the Good News.” For us to do justice to Christianity, we need to unlock more secrets of real joy:

1. JOY IS THE BY-PRODUCT OF RIGHT THINKING. There’s a wide gap between expectations and reality. That gap is called disappointment. When what we expect don’t match what we see, we are in for a letdown. The antidote for disappointment is right thinking. Joy starts with a mental decision to be glad in spite of circumstances or failed expectations. As Leslie Turvey said, “Attitude is a matter of deciding whether the cup is half full or half empty. Too often we look at life… seeing only what we don’t have, rather than being thankful for what is ours.”

Things will not always turn out the way we want them to.  When they don’t, our world does not have to crumble.  Learning to play spiritual basketball - throwing the ball to Jesus, surrendering our expectations and disappointments – will help us to accept reality in the right spirit. Habakkuk 3:17-18  fits the paradigm: “Though the fig tree should not blossom, and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail, and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold, and there be no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.” As A. W. Tozer points out: “To the child of God there is no such thing as an accident. He travels an appointed way.”

Joy robbers, in addition to people and circumstances, include worry and fear, which are signs of wrong thinking. There is a way to demolish wrong thinking. “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful… We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). When confronted by the Truth as we read the Word of God in the Bible, our mind is swept of garbage.  Realizing that the battle is in the mind, we should take hold of our every thought, so that it does not dwell on what feeds the worries and fears that choke us, but channel it to the right stuff.

2. JOY IS THE BY-PRODUCT OF PUTTING CHRIST FIRST. The apostle Paul had a one-track mind. He was full of Christ. His words bear witness. “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better” (Philippians 1:21-23).

Paul was torn between living and dying for Christ. Either case, it was, for him, a win-win situation. He reckoned that living for Christ, working in His harvest field, is what brings joy and meaning into earthly living. Departing from all these, however, would be like a mere transfer to another outpost, but being in the very presence of our Lord. That is better by far than the best that this world can offer. As covenant children of God, we have inside information. This world is passing away, but the place God has for us is one we can only begin to imagine (1 Cor. 2:9) - where eternal rest shall refresh us, where Christ shall dwell with us and wipe away our tears, where crying and pain are unheard of, and where we will no longer walk through the valley of the shadow of death (Revelations 21:1, 3-6).

Embracing Christ gives us the joy of salvation today and the privilege of serving Him now, with the hope of our future glory. Jim Elliot, who died in his missionary  trail said: “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose.” Real joy is independent from circumstances; it is focused on biblical truth and on Christ who never changes. As John Piper puts it: “GOD is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.”

3. JOY IS THE BY-PRODUCT OF HELPING OTHERS. Much of our misery is the product of our self-centeredness.  Helping others keeps our eyes off ourselves and the burdens that trigger us to throw pity parties. Individually, we can do something, but when we band together, we can do so much more. There is power in unity. There is strength in numbers. A pack of attacking ferocious lions become helpless whimps to a herd of buffaloes who stick together to come to the rescue of one of their weak kind. Despite the hazards, when we stop at nothing to help the brethren and to save those who are still lost, the Enemy is put to shame. We can rejoice along with the angels in heaven over one sinner who repents as a result of our concerted effort to save souls.

4.  JOY IS THE BY-PRODUCT OF HOLY LIVING. Living according to God’s design for holiness means conducting ourselves in a manner worthy of our calling as Christians (Philippians 1:27-30). But to be consistent in doing it while in the midst of suffering is another matter. Suffering is often the fiery dart that the Enemy throws at us to steal our joy while living in the pursuit of God’s holy standard. When, however, we stand firm, we not only pass the test of righteousness, but we also taste the fruit of joy.

Fanny Crosby was the victim of medical malpractice at a tender, young age which resulted in her blindness. She could have vented anger on the doctors, but she didn’t. Instead of growing bitter, her zeal for life and the Lord became stronger.  She turned her affliction into an opportunity to praise God through the many hymns she penned. One of her hymns “BLIND BUT HAPPY” says it all: “O what a happy soul am I! Although I cannot see, I am resolved that in this world, contented I will be; how many blessings I enjoy, that other people don’t! To weep and sigh because I’m blind, I cannot, and I won’t.”

Can we, like Paul, boldly declare: For me to live is Christ, to die is gain? Can we, like Fanny Crosby, exude joy in the middle of adversity? May we learn to turn the key to enter the joy of the Lord.