My only Hope

Set Yourself Apart for Christ

Editor’s Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Leslie Ludy’s new book, Set-Apart Femininity: God’s Sacred Intent for Every Young Woman (Harvest House Publishers, 2008).

As a woman, you naturally want to be seen as beautiful. But no matter how much time, energy, and money you spend trying to catch an attractive guy’s attention or live up to our society’s current standard of beauty, the best you can achieve is the worldly kind of beauty that can’t fulfill you.

True beauty can only be found through your relationship with Jesus Christ. When you set yourself apart from the world’s idea of a beautiful lifestyle and devote yourself wholeheartedly to Christ, His love will transform you into a stunningly beautiful woman.

Here’s how you can set yourself apart for Christ:

Consider your motives. Take a hard look at the decisions you’re making and ask yourself honestly what motives lie behind them. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to grow in all the ways Jesus wants to transform you, even when that means sacrificing your own agenda? Or are you trying to tack on some Christian morality to a self-indulgent life?

Consider who Jesus is to you. Yes, He’s your Savior. But do you view Him as a casual buddy with whom you check in once in a while? Or do you see Him as your true love — Someone you pursue with absolute passion?

Don’t settle for less than the best. There’s much more to being a Christian than saying the salvation prayer and then fitting Jesus into your life. Jesus wants to be more than just a part of your life; He wants to be your whole life. Instead of trying to fit Jesus into your lifestyle, build your life completely around your relationship with Him. Don’t be content to be a mediocre Christian, slipping Jesus into your life whenever it’s convenient. Decide every day to abandon yourself completely to Jesus, inviting Him to transform every part of your life.

Look for excitement in the right place. Even though the culture surrounding you may give you the message that surrendering your life to Jesus will only lead to a boring life, you’ll discover if you choose to do so anyway that Jesus will lead you on exciting adventures you couldn’t experience any other way.

Rely on supernatural power to help you. Don’t be intimidated by wondering how you’ll ever have the strength to live truly holy life. You can’t do it in your own strength. But the good news is that God will help you every step of the way when you rely on Him. Ask God to teach you how to yield to His power working within you rather than your own efforts. Remember that, apart from God, you can do nothing, but with Him, anything is possible.

Get a spiritual makeover. While our culture will often tell you to look for beauty within, the reality is that all that lies within you apart from God is the ugliness of sin. Acknowledge that reality, confess and repent of your sins, and invite God to make you new from the inside out by removing the residue of sin and selfishness from your life and clothing you in holiness. Start today, and keep the process going, since there’s always more for God to refine in your life.

Ask how much you can give to Christ, instead of how much you can get away with. Be ruthless in eliminating moral compromises from your life. Don’t use your freedom in Christ to do just the minimum you should do to be considered faithful. Instead, constantly remind yourself of how Jesus gave His all – His life – to save you, and decide to give your all to keep growing closer to Him.

Sacrifice whatever is keeping you too preoccupied to make Jesus your top priority. Break away from parts of your lifestyle that are preventing you from seeking Jesus with your whole heart. Take a hard look at how much time you spend in prayer and Bible study versus other, far less important activities like watching TV or surfing the Internet. Consider what kinds of sounds, images, and messages you’re allowing into your mind on a regular basis. Do they honor God, or do they glorify sin? Where do you turn for enjoyment and comfort – to Jesus, or to someone or something else? Consider such topics as the movies and TV shows you watch, the music you listen to, the way you use the Internet, the magazines and books you read, the way you speak, the way you dress, the activities you pursue, and the friendships you engage in. Remember that if any activity, habit, or relationship in your life tends to pull you away from Jesus, that’s a sign that it doesn’t belong in your life.

Expect persecution, but value Christ more. When you live a set-apart life, you’ll likely encounter negative responses from others who are uncomfortable with the extent of your faith. Don’t be discouraged or derailed by persecution. Live your life to please God, not other people.

Attract the right kind of guys. Don’t worry about being overlooked by guys because you’ve set yourself apart for Christ. The guys who will overlook you for that reason are the kinds of guys you wouldn’t want to date anyway – self-indulgent, sex-obsessed guys who won’t recognize the beauty of holiness or know how to treat you with the honor God wants you to receive. If you haven’t met the right guy yet, don’t put off living your life to the fullest. Instead of looking to romance with men to fulfill you, draw your fulfillment from the greatest love story you could ever participate in – your relationship with Jesus. Make Jesus – not finding the right guy – the focus of your life. Even if the right guy never comes along for you to marry, Jesus will still be enough. When you pour all your time and energy into your relationship with Jesus, you’ll catch the attention of Christlike men, and one of them may even turn out to be the right one for you.

Relate to guys wisely. Be sure to set and maintain clear physical and emotional boundaries in your relationships with guys. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you so you’re not led by selfish motives. Guard your heart and keep the honor of your future spouse in mind. Don’t pursue guys; let guys initiate relationships with you. Remember that, if you want your future husband to be strong and confident, you need to allow Him to follow God’s pattern of being the initiator in your relationship. Forget about flirting, because flirting draws attention toward you instead of toward Christ – and in a healthy relationship, the people involved should be pointing each other toward Christ.

Resist evil’s influence in your life. Don’t allow evil forces to hinder God’s purposes for your life. While sometimes God allows you to suffer so good purposes can be fulfilled, often your problems are attacks from the evil side of the spiritual realm that wants to discourage and defeat you. Pray about whatever is troubling you – fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, confusion, insecurity, family problems, health problems, financial problems, a sense of hopelessness, or anything else – and stand firmly in the power Jesus has given you to overcome evil. Fortify the spiritual walls around your life. Identify breaches like sinful attitudes and behaviors, rebellious habits, and involvement with the occult that give evil forces entry points into your life. Then confess them and repent of them. Make a list of all the areas of your life that don’t reflect the glory of Jesus, and pray about each one. When you pray: be persistent, remember that God wants to do good things for you, be bold, be specific, ask for big things and have faith that God will answer, and stand upon the promise that all things are possible with God. Incorporate prayer into every part of your life and make a habit of praying constantly as you go through each day.

Make Christ your first love even after you’re married. If you and your spouse are overly concerned with trying to meet your own needs and desires, your marriage will be smothered in the process. But if you both focus on serving each other because you love Jesus and want to His follow His call to selflessness, your marriage will thrive.

Serve others. Make service to others a regular part of your lifestyle. The world is full of hurting people, and Jesus is calling you to help them. Jesus set you free not just for your own benefit, but also so you can help others. Take your job to minister to those in need seriously. Ask God to help you see it as a privilege rather than a burden. Remember that your call to serve goes beyond just the people in your own family or circle of friends. Keep focusing outward. Don’t use your family responsibilities or any other circumstance as an excuse to ignore the greater call on your life, which is to pour yourself out radically for the lost, dying, needy, and oppressed. Pray for God to show you which specific people He wants you to help at what times, so you don’t become overwhelmed and focus where He wants you to focus.

The Secrets of Real Joy Part IX:

CONTENTMENT

All of us desire to be happy. In fact, we have a loving God who wants us to be joyful. Yet, a lot of times we wallow in thoughts that suggest we can only be happy if we had a higher paying job, a more successful business, a bigger house, a better spouse, or for singles, a partner in life. However, real joy that springs from contentment does not depend on external circumstances. Paul says, “Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (Philippians 4:11). Bill Gothard puts it this way, “Contentment is realizing that God has already given me everything I need for my present happiness.” The following questions will help us unlock the secret of joy in contentment.
What is contentment? Contentment is neither a license to be complacent nor an excuse for failure, but rather, it is having a perspective that we can be happy regardless of where we are in our lives. If we are not content with what we have right now, we can be sure that no amount of blessing will make us happy. And even if it does not come to us naturally, contentment is something we can learn. Paul, who has undergone tremendous hardships states, “I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.” (Philippians 4:12). The biblical definition of contentment is having the attitude of gratefulness and peace born out of trust and surrender to the will of God in every circumstance. Let us learn how to be thankful for what we have rather than focus on what we don’t have. We need to surrender our circumstances  for God has our best interest at heart and if we learn how to put our confidence in Him, we gain the spirit of contentment that transcends our present circumstances.
Why is contentment important? We cannot wait for our wishes to come true in order to become content. Contentment begins today, for it is found in Christ. Hence, contentment must be Christ-centered. It is focused on what God has given us and not on what we don’t have. Our joy is focused on the Lord and not on circumstances. Thus, in any situation, we experience joy and peace in the Lord. (2 Corinthians 11:23-25).
Our problem has always been our sinful nature. It tempts us to look at our fellowmen and compare what they have with what we don’t have. And when we begin to compare, we start demanding what we think we should have and are entitled to. Then, contentment disappears. We need to learn how to count our blessings. Doing so will help us appreciate everything God has given us and prevent us from grumbling. When we are content, we trust the sovereignty of God in all aspects of our lives, believing that there are no accidents in life and that our loving Father has our best interest in mind. (Matthew 20:12-13).
We are also reminded in I Timothy 6:7-8, “For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. And if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.” When we become obsessed with wanting to have what other people possess, we lose sight of the reality that we will eventually leave everything behind. Being content will change our whole perspective in life. It will give us eternal perspective and will help us determine what is really important in life. (Luke 12:19-21; 1 Timothy 6:9-10).
Learning how to be content protects us from this pitfall of envy. Although there is nothing wrong with money and prosperity, there is always the danger of loving earthly possessions more than anything else and losing sight of what truly matters: loving Jesus with all our heart.
How do we experience contentment? Contentment begins with Christ. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Clearly, apart from Jesus Christ, we will never experience contentment. When we begin to have an intimate relationship with Christ, our perspective in life and the way we think change. It is only through Him that our eyes can be opened to the reality of eternity. The Lord Himself promised, “I will never desert you, nor will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5). We become truly content as our hearts and minds are transformed by Christ. Epictetus states, “I am always content with what happens, for what God chooses is better than what I choose.” When we believe that God knows what is best for us and that there is more to life than possessions, we are able to keep our eyes on our past, present and future blessings. The secret of experiencing contentment is Jesus Christ.
Therefore, if we want to find true joy and contentment, let us turn to the source: Jesus Christ. Let us count our blessings and rejoice in what God has done, is presently doing and will surely continue to do in our lives. We must have a complete trust in God and have the conviction that He knows what He is doing which is always for the best.

There is joy in salvation and the Holy Spirit helps us bear more of its fruit, however, there are also joy robbers. We have learned previously about a number of them - people, circumstances, worry and fear. Added to this list are conflict and self-centeredness.

Conflict and self-centeredness are inter-related. Self-centeredness triggers conflicts, and the root of it all is PRIDE.  For these thieves of joy to be eliminated, the solution is HUMILITY. It can be said, therefore, that JOY IS A BY-PRODUCT OF HUMILITY.

Philippians 2:1-11 says: “If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those who are in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” How can this passage be applied in relation to the thieves of joy of conflict and self-centeredness?

CONFLICT. We are imperfect individuals, differing from one another in views, personalities and character. It is therefore but normal to have conflicts in human relationships. Conflict arises even among mature Christians. We may not expect uniformity, but we can preserve unity in the body. Although we may disagree about certain things, we can agree to remain in harmony with one another through the fellowship that binds us together by virtue of our identity in Christ.

The devil is the culprit of divisions and discord. When we have something against someone, what do we tend to do? We talk to other people about it. But issues need to be ironed out between the two conflicting parties. Talking about them with people who are not part of the problem or solution is plain and simple gossip. Satan uses the strategy of malicious gossip to destroy relationships and widen rifts. How many friendships have been destroyed by gossip? If we’re not careful, we may encourage it through passive listening, or we may actively participate by adding fuel to the fire. Without realizing it, we are being accomplices to the devil’s demolition job. When we refuse to join in the gossip fray, and instead urge the person who has issues to talk to the party concerned, it terminates the devil’s work.

Most people employ the strategy of fight or flight when involved in conflict. But fighting aggravates the situation while fleeing leaves the issues unresolved. There is a biblical way and that is, to move toward the party we are in conflict with. It means taking the initiative to iron out the differences with humility, with an admission of one’s part in the conflict.

SELF-CENTEREDNESS. Proud people are self-centered.  Self-centered people are usually miserable. Because they have this feeling of self-importance, they think they are important enough to be talked about all the time, and are therefore wary about what other people are saying behind their backs. They drop lines like: “I deserve to be happy.”  “This is my right.”  It’s all about I, me, mine. They think the world owes them and that it exists to serve them. Hence, when the world fails them, they are angry that they do not get to have a piece of joy.

From the time of birth, our selfish nature surfaces even without being taught. We seek attention, lay claim to everything we see as ours, throw tantrums when we don’t get the toy we want from the store, fight with playmates when a piece of candy is taken from us. When we’re older, we scramble to get the last vacant seat in the MRT train without giving way to the elderly. Bus drivers along EDSA load and unload in the middle of the road with no consideration for other motorists.

Jesus, though He is God, rich in majesty as King and Owner of everything, emptied Himself, became poor and took the form of man, in order to serve mankind in all humility. He sacrificed His life on the Cross for death to be conquered, and its sting removed. All these he did in obedience to the will of the Father. Clothing ourselves with humility is to have the same attitude and mindset as Christ’s. It means dying to self.  It is yielding our rights in favor of another. It is thinking less of self and more of others.

Christianity is not an abstract. It is living the example of Christ. When we have Christ in our hearts, joy is ours. We lose it only when we allow joy robbers in through conflict and self-centeredness. Through humility, they are barred from trespassing.